Divine Mission-Possible November blog challenge
Thank you Linda of Litebeing for this November challenge! I love to participate and tell my story. I would like to invite the wonderful Trini Lindt of The Paths of Spirit to write about her own beautiful mission for this November challenge as well!
I like the idea that started off the Divine Mission – possible blog challenge: a play on “Mission Impossible:”. Being handed a briefcase with a time bomb attached to it and the words: “Here’s your mission, if you choose to accept it…” My mission in this life started much the same way.
I was in my soul form, looking a little different than I do when I am my current purple frocked henna-haired self: a tall, dark-haired figure in flowing lavender and white. I was in space, looking at the Earth which was far away, and felt there was a vacancy for a “job”. Someone was needed to fill a certain spot and perform a specific spiritual task. I felt a little weary after millennia of incarnations, many of them hard, still I couldn’t resist. “All right, I’ll do it, just one more time…”
Primal soul trauma
Of course, had I known that I would have to go through the intense process of dealing with a rerun of my primal soul trauma and many of its incarnations, the energies of both heaven and hell, I might have turned back and ran for the hills. Maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t and went happily on my way. An innocent ray of sunshine, ready to burst into the world.
Wrapping it up
What happened next is a thing I see with many of my past life therapy clients who have had many lives, and are wrapping up their soul mission in this one. The coming together of the original incarnation trauma, its subsequent repeats in various lives, and its final manifestation and healing in this one.
When I took on my mission I had no idea my soul had agreed to a rather gruesome manifestation of the original incarnation trauma. I was just looking forward to go into the world and play, share my light with everyone who would have it. I saw the world as one big playground, filled with potential friends to play with: people, animals, trees, elemental beings.
And just like in my very first incarnation, the first step into the world was a big deception. Dark masquerading as light, in the form of a father this time. A beautiful and wise but oblivious mother. Subsequent years of sadistic abuse and violence in her absence, and a semblance of happy family life when she was there, and he couldn’t touch me.
Lifting the veils
Only when he died did the veils of unconsciousness begin to lift. My nightmares did the rest. The body began reliving the trauma, offering up the truth by aches and pains, heart palpitations and incredible insomnia. The truth will out. If not via the mind, then through the body, wise as she is, and telling the truth wherever she can.
Holding onto the Light
All through years of hidden violence, I somehow kept a hold of the thread of light that connected me to my soul. It connected me to Source and my mission. It steadily grew thicker and stronger: a ray of light, integrity and truth. I stubbornly held onto it. By working on healing all the wounds of the past, in this life and the ones before, the light grew stronger and stronger. My mission became ever clearer.
Even years before that father’s death, a veil fell away that would really set me on the path to my soul’s mission. The thing that my father had wanted to destroy most, could not be denied any longer. My desire to write.
I visited a Greek island in the Ionian sea that resonated so strongly with my soul, with so many good lives I had lead there as a priestess and warrior, father and friend, queen and midwife, that something within me began to lift up its head. The energy of creativity.
I had pushed it away so many times. He had beaten into me so many times that I amounted to nothing, that my creativity was a waste of resources – his resources. He had nearly killed me age six when I came home with a little fortress I had made out of red and orange craft paper in school. He was so jealous. A hidden narcissistic psychopath.
Still, the urge could not be denied. But I was too afraid to go for it – at first. Instead of listening to my soul and write, for years I had read all the books I could get my hands on – if I didn’t dare to express myself, then I could at least consume the stories of others. And for a while this worked for me.
Yet, all the time I felt there was something missing. That there was something important to me that I should do, and I wasn’t doing it. Even with a successful practice as a past life therapist, I kept having this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that there was something very important missing. My mission.
The island woke me up. It woke up the core part of my mission: to write from the soul, to offer all the experiences and gathered wisdom of the lives most pertinent to my soul by telling their stories. Relaying their experiences. Their love. Their unique being. Expressing the gathered wisdom of the soul.
The first time I let a friend read my words, I was trembling. I was so afraid. I thought I was going to die. Judgement would kill me. She told me she loved it – not only that, but the characters rang so true to her. They seemed so alive. Little did we know at the time, that indeed, they were. They are. They are the lives of my soul and my loved ones.
As the fear dropped away bit by bit, by continuing to write, I felt it. The nagging feeling had gone. I filled up with inspiration every time I was writing. The words flowed out of me like water. I was completely fulfilled. I used up three keyboards in the space of six months.
Seven years later, after the death of the man who nearly destroyed me, my writing took on a different turn. Not only did I continue to write my past lives, I also began to share my experiences with psychopathy and abuse from a spiritual viewpoint. Healing these wounds has taught me so much. I feel a great urge to share that knowledge with others – to help them heal, and also to prevent more people being hurt. Awareness is key.
In hindsight, I think it is my mission not only to heal all the wounds these experiences left behind, transform the programmes and beliefs that went with them, and manifest the most authentic life possible, but also share the codes and energy of healing and wisdom I gathered along the way.
By going through the Underworld, finding the way to the other end, it is possible to become a beacon for others. By healing and writing the story of my past lives and this one, and bringing them into the world, I feel my mission is being fulfilled. When I realise how much help I have had along the way, of people living in this world and the other, beloved cats and dogs of this life and many others, my mother, Mother Nature in all her manifestations, the angels and Source, my heart is grateful.
© Wendy Gillissen, M.A. 2018
Wendy is a psychologist, past life therapist and award-winning author of spiritual adventure novel Curse of the Tahiera. In her spare time she likes to hug trees and play the Celtic harp.
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