How do narcissists charm? A spiritual perspective

“To charm: The power or quality of delighting, attracting, or fascinating others.’’ Oxford English dictionary

For the longest time, I have been wondering how narcissists manage to charm people so well. How is it that they can romance the birds from the trees, sing and talk us into a state of unrealistic bliss and make us believe we’re in heaven – until we wake up in hell?


The psychological tricks they use to confuse, use and abuse their victims have been well documented. But how they manage to put out such an almost magical, magnetic persona and energy while they themselves are empty, remained a confounding mystery to me – until I began studying narcissists from a spiritual perspective.

“To charm: to control or achieve by or as if by magic.” Oxford English dictionary


Narcissist are basically empty. They have no real empathy, no heart, and most of them seem to have no authentic personality to speak of. They have no self. So how do they manage to lure us in, charm us, romance us? By utilizing energy from outside of themselves.


Narcissists are all about feeding off the energy of others. They do it any way they can – it’s a way of life for them. They are not attuned in a healthy way to their Higher selves or soul, Source and the Earth – our normal energy sources – so they try and leech off the energy of others. They fill their empty selves with our adoration, attention, and if they can’t achieve that, with our dismay, irritation, pain, misery and anger.

Collective consciousness

Now, this same mechanism is also used to charm people. If you have ever participated in a Family constellation, you will know how easy it is to connect to the energy, persona, and even soul of another being. Likewise, it is possible to reach into the field of collective consciousness and connect with anything there. It’s all a matter of energy and attention. Everything that ever was, is and will be is connected, and in truth consists of energy – and attention can take us to and connect with anything we want.

Other sources

A healthy person will use this ability consciously or subconsciously to connect to their own authentic self, their Higher Self, their soul and even their past lives to channel their highest and best qualities. A Narcissist has none of those. Their past lives are usually as miserably empty as their current one. So they subconsciously connect to the energy, personality, even soul and abilities of others and sources outside of themselves.


In psychology something very similar is described as ego-inflation: “Ego inflation is defined as an effect that magnifies and enhances one’s own ego and self-regard in a manner which results in feeling an increased sense of confidence, superiority, and general arrogance.[1] During this state, it can often feel that one is considerably more intelligent, important, and capable in comparison to those around them.” Psychonaut Wiki

Divine energy

When a healthy person connects to Source and connects to divine energy, he or she will not mistake this energy for their own ego. They will not pretend it is the property of their ego-selves – they will ground it and bring it forth in the knowledge that they are but a part of that whole divine Source and share it freely. A narcissist will try and own that energy as much as he or she can – and pretend to be it. As they have no real self, there is ample space within them to do just that.

Mirrors and feedback loops

But there’s more: Narcissists can even mirror our own disowned good qualities, the adoration or love we feel we don’t deserve, the glamour we don’t think we have, even our own divine energy back to us in a loop – so we perceive them as the owner of those energies and abilities. We project our own disowned love, shine, divineness unto them – and they not only feed off it, but use it in a feedback loop to keep us allured- very clever indeed!


So how does a narcissistic artist tug at our heartstrings and move us to tears? By channelling the energy of the hopes, wishes and dreams of the collective and mirror the disowned glamour and divinity of his fans back to them. How does a narcissistic Romeo woo women? By acting out romantic personalities and characters from books, movies and even real people from the collective consiousness – not only telling us what we want to hear, but channelling it energy wise too. How does a narcissist who pretends to be your best friend give you that feeling of closeness, camaraderie and warmth? By channeling the energy and personality of a real past life soulmate – temporarily. Narcissists can never sustain the trick for long.

The narcissist’s trick

When you combine the notion of ego-inflation with the knowledge that narcissists can even channel past lives of others, can misuse and misdirect divine energy, collective energy, the feelings, images, and our own disowned greatness and love for egotistical purposes, it becomes clear how their charm works. It’s a clever trick.
The sad part is that although they can channel these energies, they are not their own – so they themselves remain forever empty.

© Wendy Gillissen, M.A. 2019 This article is protected by copyright. No part of it may be used without prior consent of the author. You are welcome to share it using the social media buttons below. Thank you for respecting my work!

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